Filed under: Sapphire
it has been a very confusing weekend for me. first of all the weekend usually lasts only two days and not four. it’s like there has been an extra weekend added onto the end of the first one. not that i mind because i’ve been able to come out and play almost every day. apart from one day when the humans went out to do something called seeafilm and something called action stations. they talked about spiderwick from the seeafilm when they got back. i think it involves books because they had bags full of them. very confusing indeed.
the other thing that is very confusing is all the humans have been hopping about and making human noises about something called choc-o-late and i’ve been given a new job. i’m the easter bunny. horray. unfortunately no-one has told me what i am supposed to do as the easter bunny so i’ve just been hopping about and chewing and digging stuff like i normally do.
the little humans have been very clumsy as well. tiny tasha is the smallest big one and she nearly fell on me, the biggest little human who is called snarly kept jumping out from her hiding places and scaring me so much that i had to run away across the floor. the floor keeps magically transforming into ice as well. you may think it’s funny seeing a bunny skid about when she’s trying to escape a scary human but it’s no fun not being able to get a grip, i can tell you.
this easter bunny job is quite tricky. good thing i get the rest of the year off.
Filed under: Riz
A cat tries to help out and what do I get? Abuse. The foolish large human was taking the small humans out of my home yesterday, probably to buy me more food or treats, I don’t know. I had noticed that the stupid oaf had failed once again to empty my toilet. What was I supposed to do? These brainless dolts cannot understand the richness of feline language and I refuse to lower myself to their level. Instead I chose to demonstrate my dissatisfaction by emptying my bladder on the hall floor.
I thought that the oaf would be pleased. Instead he shouted and ranted at me using his brutal human language. Well, that’s positively the last time I try to help. Ungrateful peasants! Pah!
By Sapphire
the smallest big person in the house is cross with me and everyone else is laughing at me.
i don’t think that it’s my fault though. honestly, the humans let me run around the house AND* they let me nibble on food sticks in my house. i’m not to know that the white string that goes to the talking box is important.
it was only when the smallest big person wanted to talk to her friend in the talking box that they found out that the string was broken. big guy and riz’s best friend pulled up some carpet and unhooked some string that wasn’t being used anymore. i could have helped with the unhooking but they sent me to bunny prison.
it’s just not fair.
on the positive side though riz is my friend now. she likes it when i come out and play and we spend ages and ages running round and round the furniture playing chase. sometimes i have to wake her up for play time and she pretends to be grumpy.
*anya helped me with the capital letters. it’s very difficult to shout when you’re a bunny and even harder to type.
By Anya
Cake Worm, the human who is the best friend of the amusing feline, keeps feeding me through the bars. Snarly, the oldest of the small big humans, keeps putting her clothes through the bars. Until I have an eye test I’m really not responsible for biting things that get handed to me.
By Riz
If that damn bunny wakes me up one more time I’m going to eat her.
Filed under: Sapphire
my snow has gone. the big guy and missus big guy got the hooverator and the fun broom and took all my snow away. i tried to help and managed to save a little snow under the curtain. i’ve spread it around but it’s not as much fun as a whole room filled with snow.
missus big guy says that polly styrene is difficult to get rid of. i think that she must be one of their human friends. she might have visited when they had people over. there were lots of people and it was quite noisy. i had to cover my bunny ears.
one of the little big humans made some funny noises yesterday. i’d just woken up and was doing my stretches and yawns when the cake worm human came in to visit. she gave a little eek and ran off screaming about teeth and monsters. i had a look for them but they must have been really good at hiding. maybe as good as i am in at hiding in my snow.
if i wish hard enough do you think that i’ll be allowed to have some more snow soon?
Filed under: Sapphire
hello peoples, saff here.
the big guy is ‘working from home’ today so i’ve been let out to play. i’ve got the whole house to explore.
so far i have nibbled a handbag that was lying on the floor, a big bag full of plastic snow, a really interesting game that i wanted to play and some welly boots.
i do like being free but i’m going to have a nap now.
Filed under: Riz
I am Riz, the fearsome and terrifying predator who is both fearsome and terrifying. I am cat and I rule this territory with an iron claw.
The humans have recently pleased me by extending my territory by three new rooms and my adding amusements in the form of the rats. They keep them caged so that I always know where they are when I want to look at them. It pleases me when they scamper up the bars in terror.
Another cat has also been allowed to enter my territory. She is known as Saffy Bunny and is the ugliest cat I have ever seen. She is not beautiful like I am. She has no black patches on her white fur that are perfect for hiding in the shadows and she has deformed ears. They are ridiculously long. I’m surprised that she doesn’t trip over them. Her legs are also deformed. Her feet are two long.
Her deformity must be why the humans leave her in a cage. Maybe she is ashamed of her ugliness and refused to come out and face a real cat.
The flying snack known as Joey has also returned. His incessant twittering annoys me. One day I will end his life with my powerful claws. Not today though. Today I am resting in the afternoon sun. The humans are not here. I don’t care where they are. I have my territory to myself and that is what is important.
i’m settling in to my new house. it’s a bit odd that the humans have so much more room than me though. they put me in this tiny room at night with all this tasty straw to munch on. that’s ok because I usually spend the day running about in my run in the conservatory. the humans have talked about “putting me on the grass” but i’m not so sure. they didn’t have any grass in the pampered pet’s place, just slippery tiles. what if i don’t like it?
i came out for a cuddle when the humans got home yesterday. those small humans are noisy. i say small but they are gigantic compared to me. they are only small when the big guy is about. the hildy is only slightly bigger than the small humans so she isn’t so scary. i think i like them though. even the big guy. although i wish he’d stop bumping into things and making me jump.
cake worm smells of cats though. she is making a big fuss over riz. even for a cat she isn’t very bright (riz is the cat, not cake corm) and she gets very jealous when I come out to play. she made a loud noise yesterday like claws scraping on a slate tile. i got very interested and tried to have a look. the cake worm made a big fuss of riz and then made a pouty face at me which i thought was very funny. she came over later to stroke my lovely soft fur but she stank of cat. i nibbled her jumper to show that we were friends but accidentally nibbled some arm as well. it made me sneeze.
templeton made a break for freedom this morning. the big guy was adding some ratty food to their bowl after he’d put me in my run (and knocked over a box of food) when the little grey rat jumped over the door and climbed up the outside of the cage. it was really funny and it made the big guy look silly as he tried to catch her. smudge came out and tried the same thing but the big guy must be learning because he shut them in.
the rat girls keep changing names and it’s getting very confusing. the humans decided that diamond was not a good name and changed it to izzy. i don’t think that the girls care what they are called. they keep climbing up the inside of their house and throwing sawdust at riz. she is pretending not to notice them but the rat girls like to play.
i’ve asked the big guy to sort out his camera. i think that it is really important for everyone to see how beautiful i am so that they can love me too. he’s a bit slow though. he keeps coming home and saying things like “oh dear, i’ve forgotten to buy batteries again.”
Filed under: Sapphire
Don’t tell the big guy but I’ve snuck onto his computer while he’s off making another cup of tea. I think he keeps making tea because he’s supposed to be working from home and it’s an excuse not to do any work. Lazy man.
I should introduce myself. My name is Sapphire although the humans call me Saffie. Stupid humans. I am a rabbit and I live with the hoverFrog family.
- The humans are hoverFrog, The Hildy, Snarly, Cake Worm, Tiny Tash, and Little Al.
- The rats who get to live in doors in a cage are called Templeton, Smudge, Anya and Diamond. I will try to let them out later. There are other animals in the house.
- Lurky the loach shares a tank with Bob the goldfish in the human’s dining room.
- Joey the budgie is there as well. He’s only visiting though.
- Finally there is Riz the cat, or Emperess Rizla Papyrus the First, Ruler of the universe and beyond as she likes to call herself. She’s not very bright. I think that she thinks that I am a cat as well.
Oops, he’s coming back. Talk later.
